An Ex Revealed: No Flaws Edition

We all have flaws. Some flaws are superficial and can be corrected, while other flaws reveal a mental and moral deficiency. Some people are willing to work at fixing their flaws; consider giving them a chance to do so. Other people won’t change; ending the relationship might be the right thing to do. It’s your call.

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Bitter is as Bitter Does

It’s THAT holiday. I’ve had a man in my life on Valentine’s Day exactly three times: once in my early college life with my first-ever boyfriend, when I was married to WHN (what’s his name for those who wonder) for four years, and a few years ago when I returned to the dating scene. All […]

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Loneliness is relative

A person can be married and feel exponentially lonely in that relationship dynamic. That’s how I felt during my marriage, which was one of many reasons I filed for divorce.  Over the course of the last 17 years, I’ve been, by and large, happily divorced. My doctor and others get a kick out of reading “happily divorced” […]

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Google knows best?

Friday evenings are mine. With my full-time job, running a part-time tutoring business, and going to grad school, I treasure the final evening of the traditional work week. TGIF indeed! It was one of those Friday evenings a couple of weeks ago that the little blue bell next to my name lit up. What’s his […]

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Gas Stations and Bribery

As a divorced forty-something woman not dating at the moment, I miss full-service gas stations and being able to bribe the current man in my life with promises to make it worth his effort if he’d just air up the car tires. While driving to a doctor appointment this afternoon, one of the warning lights […]

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Come on!

My gmail SPAM filter sends all spam to my Trash folder. This spam includes notifications from a dating site I’d joined years ago but had since forgotten about. Thought I’d share some pick-up lines that were obviously selected from a list for your evening’s entertainment. “Why aren’t you in jail? It’s illegal to look that […]

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I can kill a cactus . . .

…but I didn’t kill the periwinkles or cannas I planted this Spring. My mini rose bush, on the other hand, is not cooperating. When we moved in to the new place, the current landscape already had a couple of crepe myrtles, but I didn’t know what color the blooms would be come Summer. Much to […]

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They call me, Mrs.

Ditching the former married name for your maiden name is all fine and dandy unless you have children who carry your ex’s last name. No doubt, you either have been or will be addressed as Mrs. [former last name] again. Repeatedly. Especially by the young ones. The only human beings on this earth that can […]

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Divorce Tag: It’s WHN’s turn now!

Players:  Two exes; adult children 18 years and older Rules:  The terms of the divorce decree and visitation arrangement no longer apply. The parent and/or adult child who arranges the event, outing, trip, etc., is tagged “it” for the duration of the activity and is responsible for EVERYTHING, including travel to and from, entertainment, medical, […]

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Dig in

Filing for divorce isn’t easy; making it for the long haul can be even harder. When you just want out, any length of time seems likes it’s too long, but you have to go the distance no matter what. In March 1998, I met with my first attorney who advised me to get a job […]

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DIY is for other women

I’m pretty adept at working my fulltime job, running my business on the side, maintaining a home, and being a mom all without paying  lawncare and housekeeping services. However, I absolutely loathed putting together the Adirondack chairs that now grace my front patio. In that moment, I wanted to be married to or dating a […]

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Of tassels and tears

It was surreal seeing my only graduate. In the abstract, and when he was young, I knew this day would come. Then, I found myself in the moment, wondering where the time went and if it was real. I cried a little, recalling the day he was brought home from the hospital with an apnea […]

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Pray for Oklahoma

My home state has been hit hard the past two days.  A former classmate lost her home last night, and other friends are searching for loved ones. The devastation is surreal and worse than the May 3, 1999 tornado according to some accounts. Ways you can help those affected by the tornadoes in Oklahoma: Donate […]

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Until YOU are divorced

. . . the best thing you can do is let us bend your ear, cry on your shoulder, and feel the comfort of two arms holding us as we work through our feelings. And we will. Please, however, refrain from words of advice that are akin to “get over it”. This advice, sometimes meant as […]

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I’m a mean mom . . . today.

I believe in the power of a daily dose of chocolate and a pedicure every two weeks. These are the two indulgences that I give myself without fail. The first because I just like chocolate, almost any chocolate.  The second, however, comes with a back massage and a glass of wine. Talk about a treat! […]

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No, it’s not real. I’ve had a busy week already, and it’s only Tuesday. I don’t recall if I’ve mentioned it before, but in addition to my fulltime gig, I own my own business and provide services that include technical writing and private tutoring. My client/student load ranges from 5th grade to college students. What […]

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Invest the child support

But, Renee, that money helps me clothe and feed my kids, and sometimes, helps pay for things like little league and dance class. If I save or invest it, the kids wouldn’t be able to do those things. And I don’t pay child support to my ex just so it can be put in the […]

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Give the staycation a week off

2013 is here and I can’t believe a real vacation just might be in the cards this year. Job responsibilities and schedules look like they might align perfectly. The choices of East Coast or West Coast  and fly or road trip seem overwhelming, and I can’t help but smile. My son hasn’t been to the […]

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Date more, fear less

Dating was an abstract concept for several years after my divorce.  After spending three years attending university and being in and out of divorce court while raising a preschooler, my focus centered on forging a career in technical writing, making a good living for us, and being a mom. Dating was, quite frankly, more work […]

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I took that whole “housework can wait, kids can’t” a little too far sometimes.

I like things clean and orderly, but I’m not a neat freak. When my son was younger, I attended school fulltime while completing my undergrad degree and worked, which meant that evenings and his nap time on weekends were dedicated for my homework and studying. Saturdays were always our Day o’ Fun; housework could wait. […]

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Money, statistics, and divorce

DISCLAIMER:  The views and opinions expressed by the author of “The True Costs of Divorce” are solely that of the author only, and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of or its owners/writers. “It’ll be $2,000, and the divorce should be done in 60 days.” That’s what my first attorney said; what […]

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Saturday’s Homework Playlist

I’m a goal-oriented individual; always moving toward something.  Since August 2012, I’ve been pursuing a M.Ed in Adult Education in e-Learning Technology and Design through an online university, and I’ve my final Capstone Project coming up soon. I can’t say how excited I am to be completing this goal. Every Wednesday and Saturday, I have […]

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